Through the Night

I can't sleep. My mom is going back under the knife tomorrow. Things haven't gone well for her and another surgery is necessary to correct some complications... Isn't that how they always put it? Complications from surgery... I'm worried sick. My mom is a sweetheart. The first thing she said to me after waking up from the Grand Filet (her last surgery) was, "Hi. How are you?" The last thing she said to me tonight was, "Take care of yourself." She isn't from the "Me Generation".

*

I've been trying to rest because tomorrow will be another very hard day and I'll need to be strong. But I keep thinking about my mom - and my anger towards the Hegemonists is a level ten on the old Loath-o-meter. (If that Pronexus goon who keeps threatening me were here right now, I'd invite him to "go ahead and make my day..." I'm in a mood!) And I keep thinking back to my first conversation with Poopsie when he used several tactics to try to manipulate me. I think I wrote about that previously. He used the "Friendly Approach", the "Fatherly Approach", the "Flattery Approach", etc. But he also said some pretty nasty things, including "There must be really BAD PEOPLE in your neighborhood!" .... Yeah right. Why? Because we fight against Space Invaders who don't abide by the rules as they force themselves down our deep throats? That makes us "BAD PEOPLE"? Well, I'm not overly fond of all of my neighbors, but I don't think there's a sex offender in the bunch and to my knowledge everyone PAYS THEIR TAXES, so I think that's a little Pot calling the Kettle black, don't you? In psychology 101, the term for this particular defense mechanism is "Projection". Look in the mirror. The fact is: WE DON'T WANT BAD PEOPLE IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD!!! That's why we certainly didn't invite you.

*

My mom and I disagree about the sex offenders. I actually think they need some sort of treatment - just not in my backyard. Not here! She thinks they should be punished for the harm they have caused their victims. They are convicted sex offenders, after all. She doesn't think they deserve a $14 million dollar facility. (She's sweet, but not one to coddle.) I'm starting to be swayed to her way of thinking. To tell you the truth (and I always do), I don't think NEXUS or its sex offenders deserve anything but a boot in the butt, a foot in the fanny, a kick out of the county.

*

It makes me so mad when the Pronexus try to pass off the PTBs as "normal" kids. Do you know what the difference is between a normal, curious (horny) adolescent experimenting with his up-and-coming sexuality and these sex offenders? The offender has caused harm to someone he has victimized. This is not a case of "you show me yours and I'll show you mine." The sex offender HURTS people! The offender usually realizes what he is doing is wrong. He forces himself on his victims for his own gratification without consideration for his victims' feelings. Rape isn't about sex, its about Power. He lacks empathy for his victims. He doesn't accept responsibility for his actions, or he justifies his crimes. He might even blame the victim. Or he might bribe and manipulate his victims. He may use the same tactics Poopsie tried to use on me during that famous first conversation... (Not that Poopsie tried to bribe me. No new truck here...) The offender gets off on being in Control. And very often, he threatens his victims with: "If you tell, I'll sue you!"

No wait. That's NEXUS that does that.

The sex offender often threatens: "If you tell, I'll KILL you!"

No wait. NEXUS does that too!

[WHOOP! WHOOP! LAW SUIT ALERT! LAW SUIT ALERT! I'm not saying NEXUS threatened to kill me. Let me clarify... Its the relatives of a NEXUS employee who have been threatening and harassing me. I just wanted to make that perfectly clear. Okay, Mr. Manderfeld?]

*

The question is, did NEXUS learn its abusive tactics and harmful strategies from the very convicted clients they purport to help? You have to admit that their methods carry a similar odor. For the past going on eight months, NEXUS has been brutally forcing itself on its Bradbury victims. There has been no empathy whatsoever for us. They are only interested in their own gratification. Its all about THEM. Its about Power and Control. And its all about Money... And what they are doing is worse than the crimes of their sex offenders because NEXUS' offenses are not only condoned but whole-heartedly supported by our government. Our innocent neighborhood has been kidnapped, held hostage and is being GANG RAPED by a bunch of bullies!!! And I can say from personal experience that if we tell we get sued and we get death-threats. Instead of getting STDs, we get PTSDs. But then, maybe I'm just "over-reacting", right Poopsie?

*

This is the company our government is keeping. It intends to keep it no matter what. Tomorrow the Onamia City Council will approve tax abatement for this Corporation which has a $38 million dollar annual budget and made over $4 million dollars in profits last year. The City of Onamia will complete the purchase of the property and start working on altering and destroying our city ordinances in order to make the rape of our neighborhood legal. (Currently it is not.) In essence, the government is holding us down to enable the corporate rape. They might make it legal, but it is not consensual. I assure you, it never will be. This institution's abuse will be continuous and ongoing. It will never end. No Social Services will save us. The calvary ain't coming. And this makes our situation all the more tragic. No one cares about us victims. You know what? If given the choice between what NEXUS has done to me or being anally raped with a broomhandle with country music playing in the background, there wouldn't be much of a contest. Broom. Sweep me up Scotty. I know the damage NEXUS can do. I've experienced their torture for eight months. It is destroying me. It had better not destroy my mom.

*

I can't blame my mom's health crisis on NEXUS, but I know that because of the situation we're in, it is greatly interfering with her recovery. She was happy with her life in Onamia before NEXUS started crowding her. She loved it here. Now everything is ruined. It can never be the same. We will never be the same. Poopsie was right. Soon, there MUST BE SOME BAD PEOPLE in our neighborhood. There WILL be. They're coming here and we can't stop them.

*

Yuck. I feel so violated. So dirty. I think I'll go take a shower now.