You may have noticed that I haven't been around much lately. This has not been my choice, I assure you. The MLA Hannabelle-Hate Club will be delighted to know that I've been seriously ill, but they will be disappointed to hear that I am probably going to live. I'm out of the hospital and back home. I'm not back in the saddle yet, but I do have one foot in the stirrup.
I don't know who or what the Hannabelle-Haters think I am... some kind of monster who is mean to poor, troubled boys? Wants to destroy the town? Some nasty bitch causing trouble for MLA employees? The ridiculous accusations and irrational hatred towards me - just because I don't want a sex offender institution in my neighborhood - still amazes me. I'm just a solitary disabled old lady who doesn't give a hoot about your sex offenders or small town politics or the stupidity of the city council. The world is absurd. I want no part of it. I'm a hermit. Really, I just want to be left alone. Keep in mind: They invaded my space. I didn't intrude upon them.
Eleven years ago I had a life-threatening health crisis which terminated my life as it was. I lost everything - my health, my career, my "bright future" - and "retired" to my little farm outside of Onamia. During what I call my "internship" at the Mayo Clinic, I learned that when the end comes, as it will come to everyone, all that matters is biology. When you are struggling to stay alive, I mean REALLY struggling, nothing else matters except staying alive. You'd be surprised how little most anything matters in the end. Biology and your loved ones. That's it. All those little things that you've worried about all your life just disappear. Poof. Gone. Insignificant. When the end comes, I can guarantee that Nexus won't matter to any of us. Those sex offenders won't matter. You won't be thinking about the next presidential election. Is it raining? (who cares). What's for dinner? What is Brittany doing today? ... None of it matters. For me, the only thing that mattered was my next breath and that my family was with me. And I survived - with a new perspective. Someday you'll probably understand what I mean.
Larry Milton doesn't realize these things yet. But I'm sure he will find out for himself. Everybody does. Whatever Larry's reasons for doing this to me - yes - to me... I take this extremely personally.... he will find out that the kind of crap he's pulling is meaningless in the grand scheme of things. People speak about making their mark, making a difference, leaving a legacy, etc. I used to call it "peeing on your tree". But you know, it always rains eventually and your mark usually gets washed away faster than you'd have thought possible. All of us will die and almost all of us will be forgotten.
Last week, after being in remission for the last ten years, I had a relapse. I really do blame it on what the city council and Nexus has put me through these past six months. I've been unable to rest. The constant stress of fighting these bullies, of trying to save my neighborhood finally caught up with me, wreaking havoc with my health until finally I ended up in the Emergency Room. Maybe my anger just overpercolated until I blew some internal gaskets! I dunno! But being so sick, I was reminded once again what is important. To me, what matters (beyond biology and loved ones) is that we conduct ourselves with integrity, stand up for our principles, mind our own business and be kind as often as possible. Life isn't about fame or fortune or who has the most toys. Life isn't about "winning". To me, Life is precious and fragile and should be treated as such. Being a good person is what counts.
Nexus, in my opinion, has not treated the people of Onamia with respect or with dignity or as if we are even human beings worthy of acknowledgement. They are rich, arrogant elitists who think they reign over the common little "hicks" in Onamia. They think they can take what they want from us. They feel superior and therefore entitled. They look down upon all of us. Jim D'Angelo told me that the people in my neighborhood are "bad people". That's what he said. The upper echelon at Nexus all think they are better than us. Not just me.... all of us.
Nexus came into my life uninvited. They have threatened to ruin my life, have ruined my life, and there is nothing I can do to stop them. While I was in the hospital, I got a letter from Nexus' lawyers. Nexus intends to sue me for the newspaper and this blog. That's right. Sue Hannabelle for telling the Truth. When I saw them stealing, I pointed and shouted "THIEF!" They didn't like that, did they? So.... look at them. See them for what they are. See their true colors. And pay their taxes for them if they've convinced you that you need them. (They don't want you to see that they need us!)
I have a lot of catching up to do on the Mille Lacs News. I'm the only webmaster. But please be aware that Nexus can't intimidate me into silence. They created a desperate situation with a person who really has nothing left to lose. What are they going to take from me? My oxygen tank? I bet that they would too! I hope they do sue me. I can't wait to go to court with them and let everyone see the big multi-million dollar corporation bully the disabled musician whose trying to protect her 84 year old mother and save their homes. That would be quite a show, wouldn't it? That will be something to live for....