Yesterday I attended the Onamia City Council Special Meeting. I've been going to these meetings ever since Onamia invaded Bradbury Township with this Nexus project. As you know, there are four council members: Bill Hill, Bob Mickus, Mark Loch, and Jerome Kryzer, plus Mayor Larry Milton, of course. Not a one of them looks me in the eye, says 'hello', or tries to understand our point of view. Nope. Never has, probably never will. Not a one of them is man enough.
They pretend I'm invisible. I am too unimportant to acknowledge. In fact, they take pains to avoid interacting with me at all. Very disrespectful, especially considering what they are doing to me and my family. But these are arrogant, self-centered men. I don't know if they are 'evil'. It's more that they are just weak and greedy assholes. They probably don't even realize it.
Larry Milton did make brief eye contact a couple of months ago, when he wanted me to know he was directing his comment at me, I guess. I once caught Jerome looking at me, but when our eyes met, he quickly looked away. Hill used to stare at his hands, red-faced in what I hoped was shame. But he got over that. He still doesn't look at me though. Mickus just glares anywhere but directly into my eyes. Loch mostly stares straight ahead, a dull, rather stupid look on his face.
So yesterday, I turned to Poncho and said, "They still can't look me in the eye," at which point Mark Loch IMMEDIATELY made direct eye contact, and let me tell you, if looks could kill, I'd be dead now. This was the proof I needed that while they might not SEE me, they can hear me. (So, of course I used the F word loud enough to hopefully get it on tape - for the record if it do ya). Later, Larry gave me a good 3 second glare. Does this mean things are improving? Somehow, I doubt it.
The mayor and the city council hate me. Don't think I'm naive, Dear Reader; after the mayhem I've been causing, I can see why they do. Now. It's perfectly understandable. But ever so sad, don't you think? It's so junior high... Very childish. Why can't they look me in the eye? Why can't they have an adult conversation with me? How about an ounce of respect? These are men with goals, but without principles.
But I'd like to bring you back to the beginning of this Nexus ordeal. These "city leaders" displayed their contempt for me BEFORE I'd done anything to deserve it. Before I stood up against them to defend myself.
Imagine you're relaxing at home, watching a little Wheel of Fortune when suddenly you hear the back door crash open. Someone's in your house! You react to the commotion by running to your kitchen - where you find a bunch of people, some familiar, some strangers - opening cans of the ugliest pink paint you ever saw. "What are you doing?" you ask in confusion. "Why are you here?" "It was in the paper," one of them states matter o' fact. An older man with a mustache turns to a younger man and smirks. The other winks back. A private joke. But WHAT is the joke?
Meanwhile, another guy has begun to paint your refrigerator pink! You turn to him, horrified. "Stop!" you plead. "I don't want you to paint my refrigerator pink!"
"It's a Done Deal. There's nothing you can do about it," he says with a used car salesman's grin on his friendly face. "Besides," he says, reloading his brush, dripping globs of pink on your clean floor, "I'm going to paint my own refrigerator pink too. So what's your problem?"
"Paint your own damn refrigerator anything you like," you snap. "But leave MINE alone! I'm not into Pepto-Bismal!"
Still unable to believe that this is actually happening, you turn to a woman who is holding a large can of paint for a bald man who is standing on your chair, slathering the pink goo onto your beautiful natural wood cupboards. "Please stop!" But she turns on you with a nasty glare while he paints harder, faster. "I'm just doing my job," she shouts viciously. "Yep. It's nothing personal. Just business," he says to you, solemnly. "Slipped another one by!" he says to her, chuckling. They smile at each other, knowingly. He keeps painting.
Suddenly, you realize that things are REALLY out of control. It seems nothing can stop these people from ruining your kitchen! Your protests are completely for nought. Standing there, you helplessly wonder if they will stop at the doorway or do they intend to paint the entire interior of your house? What a nightmare!
"Okay! I've had enough of this!" you shout, angrily. "This is MY house! I want you to stop your stupid painting and GO AWAY!"
"What an idiot," the mustached man says, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, an IDIOT!" mimics his younger partner. They giggle like schoolboys.
"It's for the good of the community," says the one painting the floor. You notice he's wearing a suit. How peculiar, you think. "We WILL be painting this neighborhood," he says loftily. "We will leave but a small footprint." You notice he's painting himself into a corner. A lot of footprints are in the future.
You feel panic. How can you stop these mad painters? You'd call the cops. Really you would. But you realize that the guy painting your stove in slow lazy strokes IS the cop! Pink paint has drizzled down his shirt like pink ketchup. It makes you recoil in disgust.
"GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" you scream hysterically.
Then they all turn on you. "You blindsided the City!" a banshee screams. "You're an IDIOT, an IDIOT," the younger man spits. "You just don't want a pink kitchen!" someone accuses. "You should die!" "If you don't like it, get out of your house!"
"Oh gawd," you moan. "What have I done to deserve this?"
Sounds crazy, doesn't it? Well, it FEELS crazy. I can't explain why the city council BEGAN with such hostility. It feels so personal. But they've treated all of us in the neighborhood with common disrespect and disregard. At least they treat ALL of us with disdain... Mickus and Loch do refer to us as "the Bradbury Idiots." WHY? Because we don't want to live amongst sex offenders? Sounds pretty SMART to me!
Yes, I've been pretty nasty myself. But I've just been telling it like it is. They've been exposed. Caught in their shennanigans. Of course they are angry. But perhaps they should consider that things could be worse. Some people might talk about more personal things.... like who has cheated on his wife, who has a drinking problem, etc., etc. Stuff like that. I'd rather not get personal. I just want Nexus to go away.
Four months ago, if you had told me that anyone would treat me with such a lack of respect, I would not have believed you. I was a college professor before I retired. Now I'm referred to as a "Bradbury Idiot" while they steamroll me. Real grown up stuff, huh. Are my feelings hurt? I could buck up and say, "Nah! Consider the source." But EVERYTHING about this Nexus thing has hurt.
But don't worry. Hannabelle can HANDLE it! Four months ago, if you had told me that I could be this nasty, I would not have believed you. Moi? Certainment pas. But I kind of feel like, you know, I'm just warming up... Who knows? Maybe Hannabelle is a lot like Carrie - at the prom.