Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Doomed if You Do, Doomed if You Don't

I'm missing a couple of hecklers here. Does anyone know when Local Yocal is getting out of rehab? How long is Leland in jail for this time?
I'm crabby this morning. I've been spending my "summer vacation" writing about how I'm spending my summer vacation. I read some other people's blogs the other day. Somebody is going to the emerald green forests of Canada to experience joyfullness. Someone else is packing for an exciting adventure in Australia. Happy blogs. I'd be thrilled to just spend some time sitting by the pond, but I'm stuck with sex offenders. And, of course, there's that factor of being ostracized daily. Its nice to be loved...
I like to think I can take criticism (but may be a tad self-deluded in that regard), however the intensity of the Hannabelle-bashing is starting to piss me off.
You probably know by now that I don't want the sex offenders moving into my neighborhood. How does that make me a bad person? If you look around the country, you'll find that people like me are definitely in the majority. I am not unique. Jim D'Angelo is correct when he says that nobody wants to live by them. Yet, some of the Onamians claim that they would love to have them next door, which would be cool except THEY AREN'T FOLLOWING THROUGH! Please... take them.
So I'm the villain for speaking out against this dirty deal, huh? I sit here minding my own business for thirty years and the minute I complain about 94 sex offenders in my face, in my space, and small town bullies who are trying to intimidate me into being some sort of frightened, cooperative yes-sir-no-sir-3-bags-full-sir sheep - somehow I become the town pariah. Go figure. (Tell me again. Why is everyone "jumping ship" and the town is dying?)
Its perfectly okay for Steve and Loretta Bye to facilitate the sale of the 38 acre Grosslein property for $150,000, over THREE TIMES the estimated market value [oh my god! She's not going to start picking on the BYES, is she? They're such nice people! Very religious. Oh yes, such wonderful neighbors. Oh my god! I think she IS going to pick on them! Oh no! But they are the town heroes! Mr. D'Angelo praised them highly and everyone clapped for them. I read it in the paper. Steve SAID it wasn't about the money! He wanted to save the town. And give those boys a place to frollick. Oh that awful Hannabelle! How can she be so mean? The town will never stand for it! She'll alienate the entire community if she starts picking on that nice old couple.] while lowering property values in the neighborhood by as much as 17% with the building of that facility - and assuring that our properties will be practically unsaleable...
...Unless, perhaps there are some shrewd businessguys in town who might want to take advantage of our dire straits, buy our now worthless properties for cheap cheap cheap and then make a fortune putting double-wides and housing developments on the land we used to call "home".
[I just hate trailers and double-wides, don't you? You betcha I do. No matter what you do, there's just no charm to them. But I heard they were looking to build an industrial park there, I mean, after they get rid of those people over there. Yeah, the greedy bastards! ....Who said that? Who was that?]
I don't know if they are trying to drive people out of the neighborhood. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but that WOULD explain why there's a blind guy whose been driving around our neighborhood, casing our homes, trespassing on people's private property, looking for a place to fly his kite while he's waiting for his disability check to arrive in the mail. [ Ohhhh. Now is that the same man who was trying to buy property next to Nexus? Yes, right next door. And he claimed he wanted to live there? Yes, he said he'd rather build a house in that area there Swamp??? rather than live in his fancy lake home on Mille Lacs. But I thought Hannabelle said that nobody wants to live next to that institution. That's true, but he tried to buy the land right BEFORE the proposed location was announced. .....
..... You don't think he knew about it in advance, do you? And that maybe he was planning to buy the land.... and turn around and sell it to Nexus for three times it's value? Yes. I'm not sure. How would I know? But if he's blind, how can he be driving around? I was wondering that myself. THERE HE IS AGAIN! Who IS that?]
But I'm not going to pick on the Byes - at this time. [Whew! What a relief! They are SUCH nice people! Very religious, you know.] A good friend of mine said, "THREE TIMES what it is worth? Who could blame them! I'd certainly sell for that price.... of course, I wouldn't be stupid enough to stay in the same town!"
Yeah, we had a good laugh about that. But seriously, if we did to the Byes what they did to us, you'd better believe there would be a loud, angry mob coming at us with torches and pitchforks [and extra-large crosses! Oh YOU! teeheehee] "How could you DO that to such a nice old couple, putting sex offenders right next to them!" they'd cry.
But that just goes to show that sometimes you can't win, no matter what. Perhaps if I pretended to be a Christian, Leland and Howdy Doody and John D. and Local Yocal would be defending me instead of defaming me?
[What does she mean? Who is pretending to be a Christian? Shhh. Just ignore her.]
Nah. Rock and a hard place...
It looks like I'm doomed if I do, doomed if I don't.

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