Sunday, August 10, 2008

God Sues Hannabelle!

A few days ago I wrote about how natural disasters such as tornadoes, floods, etc. etc. can totally destroy a person's life. And since, as you know, everything I have written this past year and a half has had to do with stopping the government from inappropriately sticking a large, commercial institution, owned by a private corporation, into our rural, residential neighborhood, I used this "natural disaster" vs "unnatural disaster" analogy to illustrate the devastation this company has caused me, my family, and my neighbors. I assure you, my intent was to gain public support against the government who, acting as an agent for the private corporation will continue to oppress We The People by continuing to make irrational, illogical mistakes like granting property tax abatement which will raise our property taxes. Of course, my intention was also to point out how the damages to the victims of the "unnatural disaster" were caused knowingly, with malice, with disregard for our Constitutional Rights, and blah, blah, blah. (You know it all by now.) WHAT HAPPENED TO US COULD EASILY HAVE BEEN PREVENTED. But it wasn't.
My Story
So, sure enough... Yesterday St. Peter (no relation) arrived at my nonpearly gate with yet another lawsuit against Hannabelle. (As if two bogus, frivolous SLAPP suits weren't already enough... Sheesh!) As St. Peter (no relation) placed the golden scroll into my trembling hands, he shook his head sadly and said, "Nothing personal, ma'am. I'm just doing my job."
Well, you can imagine my anxiety as I unfurled the golden lawsuit to find that I am being SLAPPed by God, Himself! Talk about PRESSURE!



It seems that God is suing Hannabelle for DEFAMATION. The Plaintiff's case states that "when the defendant [allegedly] "defamed The Weather", which God Himself created and is therefore responsible, her comments caused God damages which will be specified sometime in the future. By publishing information about The Weather on the Bradbury Buzzz blog for the "whole world to see", it caused His Son Jesus some slight embarrassment, the Holy Spirit gave Him a disapproving frown, and Gabriel tooted his Horn for six straight days. (On the seventh, he rested.)" [It goes on and on...]
Lawyers for the Plaintiff have sworn to "show no mercy" in SLAPPing down the defendant. Hannabelle has twenty days to answer this new lawsuit against her. Otherwise she will lose by default, because... that's the way the system was designed. Either way, it will be HELL for her.
Hannabelle's lawyers insist that God's lawsuit is frivolous. "We intend to call upon witnesses such as Moses (The Ten Commandments will be Exhibit A), and of course Job, (as soon as he gets out of the hospital) and even Jesus Himself (as a hostile witness) to prove that God uses The Weather to BULLY and intimidate people into placing large donations into the collection plate. God has a long history of Scape-goating, bullying, ostracizing, and using The Silent Treatment. What is being done to our client is purely wrong. People have a right to complain about The Weather."

Disclaimer #1: The above story is NOT true. God is NOT suing Hannabelle.

I wrote the above story to illustrate the difference between writing a fictional story as opposed to exercising my First Ammendment Rights to advance a position. Freedom of Speech is a Right which MUST be protected. We know that the above story is a metaphor. It is fictional. How do we know this? 1) God cannot sue Hannabelle because God doesn't exist. 2) Alternatively, if God DOES exist, we know God cannot sue Hannabelle because - everyone knows there are no lawyers in Heaven.

***I learned that "Alternatively" trick from you, Vic.

Disclaimer #2: In the D'Angelo/Freeman SLAPP suit against me, I've been wrongfully accused of sitting at [my] computer and just making things up because [I] think it is funny. To say this about me is defamation. To tell the court that information I have shared in the Mille Lacs News and Bradbury Buzzz has not been researched (they said that too) but simply "made up" is FALSE. It is obvious that the Plaintiffs are "projecting" their own methods onto me. I am not the one who lied on sworn his affidavit. I am not a liar at all. Yes, sometimes I TRY to be funny. I want my readers to be entertained while they learn about our cause. If you don't see the humor in a Jay Leno monologue as he criticizes the President... well, then you probably have a problem and are no fun at parties. Of course I'm no Jay Leno... And to me, fighting to save my farm has NOT been fun OR funny. I do, however, stand by what I have written. I have published the Truth as best I can as well as offering tons of opinion. I have done my best to procure favorable government action through alerting the public and public officials of the Truth. It is an effort which continues.

No comments: